There have been countless articles highlighting men’s faults and shortcomings.  These articles make it seem like women are somehow enlightened and know the best way of doing everything. 

Well, we know that men aren’t perfect but if women would take the time to understand us, a lot of their ‘problems’ would cease to exist.  Sorry ladies, we love you to death but sometimes you drive us crazy with all your demands and criticisms. 

Often times in conversations with other men, I have come to realize that we all have the same issues with our women.  The whole issue of separating whites when we do the laundry keeps popping up.  This indicates to me that we are hardwired this way and any man who acts contrary to the norm is probably going to die an early death from the stresses of trying to please his woman. 

However, that does not mean that we don’t intend to make you happy.  It just simply means that you should make a mountain out of molehill when we come up a little short.

Here are some of our issues in a list:

1. We need the toilet seat up.  You need it down.  Why do we have to be the ones to touch the dirty plastic part (whatever it’s called)?  If you want it down, put it down.

2. We love our socks with holes in them, whether in the heel or the toe.

3. We love our shirts and underpants with holes in them too.  Please don’t throw them away.

4. Why do you want us to remember your birthday when you have a problem getting old?

5. If you ask us to do something, don’t supervise us and give us instructions.  If you know the best way to do it then do it yourself.

6. Going to the supermarket is not like going to a gala event.  Don’t get upset when we wear our old jeans and faded tie die T-shirt. 

7. We don’t like going shopping with you because you have to look at every striking thing in the store.  It takes me an hour to get the same items it takes my wife three hours to get.  Somebody explain that to me please.

8. When you bring home a DVD for movie night, don’t bring home “Must Love Dogs” or “What A Girl Wants”.  Bring home something that we both can watch.  Something that’s family oriented or has a little romance, that can make you cry but still has some action.  Something like, I don’t know, uhhh, "Apocalypto" maybe. (I must admit…"Sweet Home Alabama" was kinda nice though.)

9. Reading Maxim and King are just as worthwhile as reading Danielle Steel or Mills & Boon.  Leave us be.

10. Men are practical.  Don’t get upset if when you ask us “Honey, am I losing weight?” we reply, “What does the scale say?”  We don’t have Cyborg eyes that can scan for weight and height like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator.  Use the damn scale.

11. Blue balls are a fact.  Don’t patronize us by saying we don’t know what pain is like.  I’d gladly switch my blue balls for your period (especially since my blue balls last for 20 days).

12. When you buy us gifts, don’t by something that you like.  Buy us something that we like.  You probably will not sense any appreciation for the yellow gold chain when we explicitly state we only wear white gold.

13.  We really don’t mind if you gain a few pounds as long as we get sex regularly.  Just don’t go all Oprah on us.

See. It’s not that long of a list. We’re not very fussy.  We are content with just a little.  A list done by a female would probably have 25-30 items on it.  There might be a few issues I forgot to mention.  Feel free to leave comments guys and add anything I might have left off. 

Ladies, you can’t live without us and we definitely couldn’t survive without you.  Just remember, a tiger can’t change its stripes so don’t expect us to be you…unless you want us to be like Richard Simmons or one of those dudes on Americas Top Model.